Zombie Will Think for Food

Be cool, my babies—I have returned, somewhat well-rested from a recent long weekend and more frazzled than ever thanks to a bunch of unexpected home improvements (randomly: God, did I love Tim Allen and his woof woof woofing back in the day).

While I was crashing at the parents’ house over 4th of July weekend, the inevitable happened—Jaws was on. I frickin’ love Jaws. Because nothing quite gets my family in a beachy mood quite like the threat of Imminent Shark Death (note to self: “Imminent Shark Death” would be a great name for a band), we sat and watched the whole thing.

Which got me thinking—there are SO many movies that I love just enough to watch them anytime they show up on cable but not reeeeally enough to own on DVD because either, 1) I don’t actually love it enough to spend money, or 2) I know it’ll be on TNT within the next month.

I have a lot of these movies because, 1) I’m cheap, and 2) I love watching TNT. Here are just a couple movies that I consider impossible to channel surf past:

Anaconda

Featuring a post-Selena, pre-music career J-Lo, this movie is Awful. It has a ton of people in it, including Owen Wilson, Jon Voight, Eric Stoltz, and the ever-acclaimed thespian, Ice-Cube. If you happen to be lucky enough to catch this on cable, you simply MUST watch it until the snake vomits up (spoiler!) Jon Voight and he winks at J-Lo. Now that, my friends, is movie magic.

What A Girl Wants

This is now the second time I’ve outted myself as a fan of hers, but I don’t care—Amanda Bynes melts my cold, cold heart. Spunky (does Bynes play anyone who ISN’T spunky? Or offbeat? Or vaguely rocker-chicktastic? I think not) Daphne Reynolds searches for her biological father and aren’t we ALL lucky when it turns out to be Colin Firth?! Fact: I would watch this so often on movie stations that I finally just bought it ($5 DVD bin for the win!). That DVD purchase inoculated me against having to spend yet another Sunday afternoon watching Amanda Bynes try on all kinds of sassy outfits (oh, but I do love that).

Deep Blue Sea

OH this movie was on while I was home, too! I LOVE BEING AFRAID OF SHARKS! I also love how hilarious this movie is. Watch to see Samuel L. Jackson pontificate on the nature of the cruelty of man:

You think water moves fast? You should see ice. It moves like it has a mind. Like it knows it killed the world once and got a taste for murder. After the avalanche, it took us a week to climb out. Now, I don’t know exactly when we turned on each other, but I know that seven of us survived the slide… and only five made it out. Now we took an oath, that I’m breaking now. We said we’d say it was the snow that killed the other two, but it wasn’t. Nature is lethal but it doesn’t hold a candle to man.

And then get ate real ugly:

These are just a couple off the top of my head, but now I ask you, dear readers: what movies stop you dead in your channel-surfing tracks? Let me know in the comments.